You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
