My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
