Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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