Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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