I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
