You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize