I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
