There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
