Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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