We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize