Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize