My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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