Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
