his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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