You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize