my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I would ride that face into the sunset
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
