A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
