it's like iHOP with fire
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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