i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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