how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
