i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
