yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
