Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
