i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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