FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
