You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
