I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
