My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
