Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
