Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
