once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize