So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
