I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
