I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
