woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You left your underwear on the fireplace
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
