taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you will always have a special place in my vag
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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