A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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