Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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