if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You took a bar mat shot.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
