Non-Jews are for practice
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
