so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
