Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
