best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The uberlube is also flammable
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
