I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
