I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
