Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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