Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize