I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
