she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
