we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
