Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize