Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
