Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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