the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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