Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
