Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
