I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
