singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
