Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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