we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
