the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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