what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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