so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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